"Operation has divided my life into" before "and" after "
In a recent broadcast of Oksana Pushkina's TV program "Mirror for a Hero" on channel NTV Julia Volkova made a statement:
"In 2012, I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. During surgery where they had to remove the tumor they have damaged my vocal nerve. It was the most critical moment of my life. "
We have offered Julia to reconstruct what happened in details.
In a candid interview with HELLO!
Yulia Volkova told about how to beat the cancer, how to restore the voice after a medical error and how to it changed her life.
That year for actress Julia Volkova was very busy. At the beginning of 2012, she recorded a duet with Dima Bilan 'Back To Her Future', they were about to participate in "Eurovision", but in the qualifying round "Buranovskie grandmother" defeated them. In summer Julia shot a video for the song "Davai Zakrutim Zemlyu" and was preparing to release an album, with success at the contest "Novaya Volna", which took place in Jurmala. And then, in September, the media reported that Julia underwent surgery on ligaments. For some time, she "disappeared from the radar" and returned with a new, almost unrecognizable voice - a low, husky.
Julia, how do you know that you have a serious illness? Is something bothering you?
I was diagnosed in August 2012. Our family decided to be surveyed on a regular basis: I, my mother, my father, my children - every six months we are renting the general analyzes - doing an ultrasound.
So nothing I didn't worry, nothing hurt. Serious cases usually does not hurt ... And then I had a dream, I saw a doctor in a white coat who looks at me and says: "Julia, you have cancer." I woke up and thought that I recently been at the doctor. But I know myself, I have a very developed intuition, I just do not dream things like that without a reason. I went to re-examination, including the thyroid gland. The doctor said that there is a seal that is very similar to a tumor, it is necessary to do a biopsy. The fears were confirmed - a malignant tumor.
Not everyone is able to listen quietly to this terrible diagnosis ...
No, I'm not crying, not suffered from insomnia, do not raise their hands to heaven, and God has not asked a question: "What did I do ?!" I hadn't thought that 'tomorrow I'm going to die.' We all have health problems, we live in a world at a time: breathe dust, eat chemistry. Don't be afraid of diagnoses. It is better to learn everything before, and fight to be treated. If you can do something, why bury yourself in advance? I have one fan from Ryazan, she doesn't miss any of my performances in Moscow - I hope, this time, on April 29, "Mumiy Troll Music Bar", she will be at the concert. So, she can't walk. Get on the train and buses - in a wheelchair! Sitting, singing songs, enjoying life. I look at her and think, why should I lose heart? When I found out about the tumor, the doctor said: "Start the operation urgently, delete it and forget about it forever." He assured me: "All will be ok again, get married and give birth to more children."
You did the operation in Russia?
Yes. Although I doubted. Parents say, 'Go to Germany or Israel, it is not necessary in Moscow - there's enough time to decide. " But I totally didn't know what awaits me, after removal of the tumor patient is often required chemotherapy. So I imagined that I needed to leave my hometown, perhaps for a long time. And in such a situation, I really want to be closer to home, parents, children. I decided to do the operation here. In a "good hospital," the doctors "with excellent references."
When you had an operation?
A month after being diagnosed. The operation is not very complicated, it lasted two and a half hours under general anesthesia. It does not hurt and I wasn't afraid. They make a small, five centimeters, cut. Here, look, there's a barely noticeable scar. The most horrifying thing started then.
After such an operation, the patient immediately start talking. I woke up, the doctor began to ask me questions, and I could not say anything. Nothing at all. I'm trying to say something, but does't work, instead of sounds - some hiss, the voice is not at all. It turned out the doctor touched the vocal cords. This was the biggest challenge for me. On the one hand, I'm alive, I got rid of the problem, and on the other - I lost my voice for several years, I lost the main working tool. The first time I couldn't sing - could not speak. I sat and thought, everything is meaningless - injections in phoniatrics, warm up the teachers ... nothing will! Error doctor turned to me hell.
For such a court is served ...
Yes, but I didn't do that. The doctor told me to wait. On the one hand, it must be observed three years when there is a risk that cancer cells appear again in the body. On the other - the doctor assured me that within six months the voice will be back. I waited patiently, but this didn't happen. Then I couldn't stand it. I came to him and said (when I was just beginning to wheeze whispering): "But if you now fingers accidentally cut, how will you work as you have promised, that will work with my ligaments very carefully?". The doctor said that I have a special structure of the larynx and he just couldn't avoid it to touch the vocal cords, as I have it all too close ... But what else he could say? Not all are able to recognize their guilt. When they doing such an operation in Germany, they install additional equipment to the high-precision electronics precisely in order not to hurt the ligaments. In Russia, as it turned out, such equipment is not used.
Now you're talking, singing. So, your voice back?
I suffered, then I did two operations in Germany to restore the voice - but this didn't help. I went for consultation in Israel, where I was offered to put the implant in the neck ligaments. Imagine to have such as breast implants and other body parts. (Laughs.) But since the operation takes place within the framework of experimental practice there was no guarantee that he is accustomed. I was frightened and decided against this treatment. After some time I found a clinic in Seoul, where they make the voice of transsexuals - the Korean doctor and gave my my voice back. Of course, I "sound wrong", compared to my voice before, though I've always been a voice husky. But today, I confess, I can sing even easier than talking.
Who has beend close to you during the last three and a half years and supported you in a difficult situation?
My children, of course. After the surgery I immediately told them that I had cancer. Why to hide? We have a very good relationship, they need to know. Next were my parents, they always support me. And a few more friends. For example, my director Katya, with which we are familiar from childhood. You know, when I went for surgery, different people were there. But after a few months, and many of those whom I considered close friends stopped calling me, interested in how I feel. Through friends, I heard such remarks like: "What? Volkova? She will never sing again." That is me as an artist was buried. They decided that now I'm sick and there is no need to communicate with me - to hang out with.
How do you experienced?
I can not say that I was wildly painful. I'm not crying, not beat the head against the wall, I did not want to jump out the window. At some point, even I felt gratitude to God for this test. Each person has his own way, and each sent to the difficulties through which we must pass in order to become aware of something, to rethink life. So I realized, for example, that there are people that do not need to waste themselves, they are not worthy even to greet them. I changed the phone number, removed 50% of the contacts of my old notebook. Looking back, I can say that what happened made me stronger. When everything comes easily, stop to appreciate of what you have, you do not notice the good people and their relationships; it seems that all you need.
You had the same thoughts?
Maybe there was a time when I "included a star." Now I understand: life is so short, why frills? In general, the fuss that has been in my life is gone. Previously, I was torn to pieces, like time everywhere. And then I weighed all - and it became clear that I can't and don't want to be everywhere, to be friends with everyone, to tear the soul. It is important to find your way.
You found your way?
I think so. Three years after surgery my solo career started. I'm a unique artist - working with a band. In the second, the injured, pumped a special preparation, it is larger in size than healthy, but atrophied. And yet I'm singing, I practiced only live concerts. When they say that Volkova doesn't sing, for it is doing a backup singer, I am surprised. Look, here at Beyonce, Lady Gaga, but who want to have a back-up singer. So what?! Yes, I don't dispute that those notes that I took during the operation in t.A.T.u, I'll probably have to take can not ever. But I have my own voice, my lively voice. That's my style, people love me so and I have learned to accept and love myself. First, of course, from complexes. When the "good" people said "What happened to your voice, did you smoke too much in youth?" - I didn't like it. I became more silent, which also went for me. Previously, I chattered incessantly, so that even forgot what I said. (Laughs.)
So, the dramatic experience has changed you?
Yes. I became even-tempered and at the same time - I'm very free inside. I own mistress, gathered my team together we are looking for songs, the studio where we'll write songs. I build a convenient schedule for myself. During the week it's Important for me to be with my children - cook with them, having breakfast, take them to school, swim with them in the pool ... You know, the operation is divided my life into "before" and "after." Sometimes I think of myself as before, and I think that there, in that life, I wasn't Julia (Smiles.) Now I feel to be more myself - I can understand, accept things, I am in harmony with each other. Risk is not ready - just do not see the point. I have children, I want to grow them, to give them a good education, to see how they build privacy, see the grandchildren and great grandchildren.
It's all ahead. And in the near future, what are your plans?
Work. I have such a rise! I want to return to the podium to my new song "Спасите люди мир" It was in the first lines of the charts, so that it spun on the radio. It's about what is happening now - in the world that need to be kinder, how important it is to appreciate life. Of course, to reach the level of the popularity of t.A.T.u, to ensure success, it will be difficult. But at least I come closer ...